


Black Hole Sun

by imaginationrunsfree



Series: The Love Bug Chronicles [3]
Category: Ant-Man (Movies), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Character Death, Domestic, Emotional, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Heartache, Hurt/Comfort, Miscarriage, Multi, Recovery, Romance, Trauma, True Love, post Endgame, references to AATW
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-03
Updated: 2020-06-07
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:26:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,236
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24518392
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imaginationrunsfree/pseuds/imaginationrunsfree
Summary: Hope makes a fatal mistake on a mission and pays the ultimate price. Now she must deal with the repercussions. Thankfully, she doesn't have to do it alone. Set after  the events of Avengers Endgame.
Relationships: Cassie Lang & Scott Lang, Hank Pym & Hope Van Dyne, Hank Pym & Hope Van Dyne & Janet Van Dyne, Hope Van Dyne & Janet Van Dyne, Scott Lang/Hope Van Dyne, Scott Lang/Steve Rogers
Series: The Love Bug Chronicles [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1768846
Comments: 3
Kudos: 26





	1. Take Away the Pain

**Author's Note:**

> Originally part of After the War. Removed as it felt like it didn't fit the tone originally set and needed to be it's own thing. Title inspired by the song Black Hole Sun by Soundgarden.

“Scott?” There was blood, so much blood. “Scott.” she sobbed, clutching her belly. “Scott, please.” `

“Shhh, it’s okay. I got you, it’s going to be okay.” He grabbed the nearest thing to him and wrapped her shaking form up as best he could. Slowly, carefully, he lifted her in his arms. 

She hooked an arm behind his head, the other still holding her abdomen. He carried her swiftly but gently down the hall and into the entryway. Setting her down he grabbed his keys and wallet, checked his pocket for his phone. 

“I’ll be right back I promise. I’m just going to go get the car okay?” She nodded weakly, skin pale and cheeks shining with tears. It broke his heart to see her like this, but he wasn’t strong enough to carry her that far. 

He practically ran out the door, down the steps and into the street, ignoring the steep California incline of the road. In what felt like no time at all he had the beater of a car he used out front, passenger door open and engine running. He bounded up the steps, chest heaving just as another terrible pain racked through her body. 

Hope groaned clutching the fabric around her desperately. Her breathing was heavy and her hand shaky. He brushed the swat soaked hair from her forehead, soothing her with his touch. “I’ve got the car. We will be there in no time and whatever this is will be over.” 

Fresh tears welled up in her eyes, beading on her lashes and falling like heavy rain. “That’s exactly what I’m afraid of.” 

Unsure how to respond, Scott lifted Hope once more, carrying her down the steps and securing her safely in the passenger seat. He bounded back up the steps, locked the door and then they were on their way, screeching down the street lamp lit streets. 

* * *

It wasn’t until the wee hours of the morning that they got some answers. Hope was lying in a hospital bed, her hair messily tied back in the remnants of last night’s ponytail. The hospital gown was itchy against her skin. Scott sat next to her, having commandeered the room’s only chair; a rickety piece from the 70s. All lacquered wood and rough coral coloured cotton. The cushion so worn there was a permanent indent on the seat. 

He was snoring softly, head tilted back. He had tried desperately to stay awake with her, but after repeated assurances that she would wake him for anything important, he gave in. Despite that, his hand remained clasped with hers on the bed. Even in sleep he refused to let her go completely. She gently squeezed his palm and gave him a little shake when the doctor came in holding what she assumed was her chart. 

“Hmmm?” mumbled Scott, starting to come too. “What is it? Oh, doctor, hi.”

“Hello.” She replied. The woman was older, but not quite old enough to be classified as senior. Grey streaked her otherwise honey auburn hair. Little lines spread across her forehead, the sign of many hours of concentration or frustration having taken its toll. Yet there were also signs of joy, signs of laughter there too. In the way her eyes crinkled, in her smile. Though it was not quite full and bright, it held warmth. 

“Ms Van Dyne?” asked the doctor looking over at Hope. “I take it you wish for this man to be present for your news? Unless he is immediately family or a partner of some degree I would suggest...” 

“Yes.” she replied, giving Scott’s hand another squeeze. “I want him here.” He smiled at her softly, bushing his thumb over the back of her hand. “He’s the father.”

The doctor nodded in understanding, seeming to not notice the floor opening up and consuming the only man in the room. 

His vision narrowed and the room spun around him as the words _he’s the father_ echoed over and over in his brain. Memories of last night came back to him in rapid flashes. Hope complaining of a stomach ache over dinner. Hope, coming in and out of the en suite bathroom, looking more and more worried as the evening wore on. Hope, crying, clutching her stomach on the bathroom floor, blood soaked through the crotch of her sweatpants, little smears of it on the toilet and the sink where her hands had been.

How had he not seen it? How did he not realise what was happening the moment he found her there? _Oh God, the mission._ Hope had gone down hard. Several times. They both had. But that last blow, a steel pipe to her abdomen. Their suits were plated with armour but that didn’t stop hits like that leaving bruises. He’d been wearing the suit when he last broke a rib. If that could happen through the armour then this….oh god Hope. What had she been thinking? 

“I take it then that you are aware of what happened last night Ms Van Dyne?” asked the doctor. 

“I, sort of guessed.” 

“Then you are also aware of the most likely cause of the miscarriage then too.” 

Hope closed her eyes, fighting back fresh tears. She bit her lip and let out a shaky breath. “Miss Van Dyne, do you or have you ever felt that you were in danger?”

“Yes.” 

“The bruising on your body indicates severe hemorrhaging in the abdomen, suspected liver damage and judging by the bump on the back of your head, dizzy spells.”

Hope just nodded. 

“Ms Van Dyne, the nurse wrote here that you seem to have several scars and markings of former injuries. Were any of these gained while in the presence of the father?”

“Yes.” the doctor scribbled something on her chart. 

“Ms Van Dyne, I strongly suggest you ask the father to leave the room before this conversation continues for the safety of all persons involved. Mr….

“Lang.”

“Mr.Lang I suggest you go quietly and calmly. An officer will be here to deal with you shortly.”

“Woah, woah.” Scott jumped out of his chair. “Do you think I have something to do with this? That I’m the one putting her in danger? That I…” he couldn’t say it, not out loud. The mere thought of it brought bile rising up in his throat. “I would never!” 

“Sir, please calm down or I will call security. They would be more than happy to escort you from the premises before SFPD arrive.” What warmth had been in her expression was now gone, replaced with a stare so cold it could freeze ice. 

Hope tried to sit up, reaching out a hand between the two of them as if to hold them apart. She cleared her throat, coughing slightly. “Doctor no please, you misunderstood.” Scott handed her some water from the nightstand next to him. She gulped it down gratefully. 

“What I meant was I sometimes work in very dangerous environments. Scott and I… well it’s hard to explain, but it's common for us to get in...physical altercations with other people. We wear protection, but I guess…”

“...it wasn’t enough to protect our unborn child.” finished Scott, letting go of her hand for the first time since they arrived. “God, Hope what were you thinking?” 

She looked at him, pain clearly wrought in her expression. He ignored her though, pacing around the tiny space, unable to stay still any longer. The doctor watched them both.

“Scott please. I didn’t know for sure.”

“But you did Hope. Or at least, you had an idea and you didn’t tell me. You knew and you purposely withheld it from me because you knew I wouldn’t have let you on the mission. You knew I would have insisted you stay home.” He was angry now, furious even. 

So was she, mixed with grief and pain, and guilt for what she had done. “And what good would that have done huh? We barely made it out alive Scott. If I had let you go in there on your own I would have lost you.”

“You don’t know that!” he cried. 

“I will not have our child grow up without a father!”

“Well now there won’t even be a child!”

Silence hit the room, thick and deadly. Both their chests heaved with effort while his words sunk in. Scott felt like shit. He regretted it the moment the words left his mouth but he was too wrapped up in his emotions right now to do anything about it. 

Hope swallowed thickly, steadying herself. “You know how hard it was for me without my mom. How hard it was on Cassie when you were gone after the Vanishing. I will not let that happen again.That is not the kind of future I want for us. For our family.” 

Scott sighed, hands dropping to his sides. “I...I need a minute.” 

“Scott.”

He stepped out of the room and into the sterile hallway. He felt like he was suffocating, like the stale, sanitized hospital air was getting into his airways and burning whatever it touched. He needed air, fresh air. 

“Scott!” he heard her call, He ignored it. He heard the doctor too. “Ms Van Dyne, stop. It’s too soon for you to be out of bed. You need to rest.” 

He didn’t hear anymore after that, though he imagined Hope ignored the doctor. She was stubborn like that; thought she was invincible sometimes. Like her years of training and hard work somehow made her immune to weakness. Tonight was certainly a lesson in humility for Hope. One that hadn’t come without a price. 

He pushed through the frosted glass doors and into the early morning air. He titled his head to the sky and breathed deeply, gulping like a fish out of water. He felt the moisture fill him, the weight of last night leaving his body with every deep, shattering breath. He didn’t realize he was crying until his nose dripped onto his shirt. He sniffed, wiping it on his jacket sleeve. 

“I know that look.” 

Scott looked up in surprise. He had thought he was alone. Another man sat on a bench nearby, looking at him expectantly. “I’m sorry?” 

“I said I know that look. I see it every time I tell a patient their loved one is dead.” 

“Oh.” was all Scott could say. He walked over and joined the man, settling onto the cold metal mesh of the bench seat. They sat for a moment in silence. 

“It was our baby.” 

“I’m sorry.” 

“Me too.” 

“Did they have a name?” 

“What? Oh, no. It was a miscarriage. Early on I think. I only just found out.” 

“I’m sorry.” 

“Yah, me too.” 

“Are you and the mother separated?” 

“No, no nothing like that.” The doctor nodded, as if he understood. “No, we’re together. She just didn't tell me she was pregnant.” 

“Hell of a way to find out.” 

“You’re telling me.” The first hint of sun began to creep up onto the horizon, glinting off the glass structure of the hospital. 

“Is she okay?” 

“I think so.” replied Scott. “I sort of left half way through.” 

“Well that doesn’t help.” 

“What?” 

The old man sighed. “Look son, I’ve been doing this for sometime now and I know a thing or two about loss. Regardless of who it was or how it happened, the best way to get through it is with the people you care about.” 

Scot looked over at him, starting to grasp what the man was saying. “Right now, there are two people who lost that baby, not just one. Whatever her reasons were for not telling you, they don’t matter now. What matters is the grief the two of you are feeling. The loss of what could have been. Her body is punishing her right now, reminding her with every cramp and drop of blood of the life she was unable to hold onto.”

“Now you may decide that is too much for you as a man, but if you love her, and I mean really love her, you won’t abandon her in this. You won’t allow her to suffer in this alone.” 

Scott wiped his nose on his sleeve again. The doctor offered him a tissue which he gladly accepted, mopping up his face. “Is this how you spend your coffee breaks? Convincing idiots like me to fix their mistakes?” 

The man chuckled, smoothing his mustache down with his fingers. “Technically it's only a mistake if you chose not to be honest with yourself.” 

“And if I don’t?” 

“Well son,” he placed his hand on Scott’s shoulder. “The choice is yours to make and yours only. I think I’ve made myself pretty clear.” He gave Scott’s shoulder a reassuring pat. 

“Now if you excuse me, I only have 5 minutes left of my break and I am desperate to use the restroom. This old bladder of mine doesn’t hold up like it used to.” 

Scott watched as the older man walked back into the hospital, the doors opening and closing behind him. The sun had reached the frosted partition on the glass, bathing it in rich golden light. Scott pulled out his phone and clicked the home button, watching as his lock screen came to life. It was a picture of the three of them, Scott, Hope and Cassie, that day after the battle when they had gotten together to watch the fireworks. The light then was golden too, though from a sun setting after a long day, rather than awakening to a new one. 

He sighed heavily once more, locking his phone and returning it to his pocket. He knew what he needed to do.


	2. Why?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hope wrestles with the guilt and shame of her actions. Scott tries to help.

The room was quiet and still when he came back. High up on the 4th floor, the morning sun’s rays hadn’t quite crept in. Hope was laying on her side, away from the door. She was curled, the hospital bed sheets reaching just above her hip, her arms up close to her chest, protecting, comforting. He couldn’t know for sure from this angle, but judging based on the empty bed that shared their room, Hope was clutching her pillow. 

Unsure of how to start, he just stood there for a moment, taking it in, being. He traced the lines on the linoleum floor with his eyes. Felt the cool metal of the door handle between his fingers. Mentally traced along every bump of her spine up into the curls of her hair at the back of her neck. 

“You came back.” it was barely more than a whisper. Muffled and watery, a mix of surprise and trepidation. 

He followed it to her bedside, placed a hand on her side. She flinched, but then settled. 

“Hope.” She didn’t move. “Hope, please. Look at me.” 

She turned her head towards him, her body remaining immobile. He wasn’t quite past her defenses yet. 

“Why?” He looked at her softly, handled her like an injured bird. When he didn’t answer she tried again. “Why did you come back?” 

“You know why.” 

“No, I don’t. I lied to you. I tricked you. I was foolish and stupid and arrogant enough to think I had it all under control. I _lost_ _our baby._ Our baby is dead because of _me._ ” 

He pulled away but stayed close. Let the moment be. 

“Did you...do you want kids?” He felt terrible asking it but he needed to know. 

The hurt in her voice was evident. “You think I did this on purpose.” He sighed. 

“No, I mean...did you? God, no, don't even answer that. I know you, you would never.” He brought his hands up to swipe at his face, to scrub it clean of such terrible thoughts. “We never really had this conversation. I’ve mentioned it, said out loud many times that I want more kids but, I never actually asked what you wanted. I just assumed. I’m sorry.” 

He walked around the bed, resuming his previous spot in the chair. He collapsed, eyes closed, head in his hands. This was all so much. 

“Scott. Why did you come back?” 

He looked at her. Really looked at her. Saw every grain and gradient of green in her eyes, counted the layers of eyelashes brushing her skin. Memorised the freckles that blossomed across her nose. Traversed the deep canyons of guilt etched into her skin. The answer was simple. 

“I love you. Always have. Always will.”

She kept his gaze for a moment, letting the moisture pool and fall, painting pretty tracks on her skin. Then she closed them, closed herself off, turned away. “How can you love someone who has done something so monstrous?” 

“You are not a monster Hope.” 

“Yes, yes I am.”

“No, you’re not.” 

“Just stop Scott.”

“No.” 

“ _ Stop.” _

_ “No.” _

She was sobbing now, harsh and uncontrollable. “Just go Scott, please.  _ Just go _ .” 

“NO.” He was grabbing for her now, wrapping her in his arms, holding her to his chest. “Do you hear me Hope? I’m not going anywhere.” 

Scott’s arms wrapped around her, held her, rocked her.He refused to let go until her breathing slowed and the tide of tears subsided. He rested his chin against her head. Planted kisses into her hair. She held on, clinging to him like it meant life or death. She shook with the effort. Trembling in his arms. 

Eventually, she calmed. Breathed in deep, shaky breathes. Mopped herself up with offered tissues. “I’m sorry.”

“I know.” 

“If...if this was our only chance. Do you...do you still?”

“Yes.” 

“Even if it means…”

“Yes.”

“Scott, I’m serious. Think this through. I know how much you love being a father. I...I don’t want to take away your chances of that happening again.” 

“I am being serious. I have thought about it. I have a beautiful daughter, an amazing partner, a home to live in, a job that I’m good at and pays the bills. Hell, I’m a freaking superhero. My life is already pretty great.” He pulled back a little, so he could see her face. 

“But look. I’m not going to lie to you. I made a commitment to myself not too ever since Germany. Yes, I want a family with you Hope. And if that includes children of our own I will be over the moon.”

“And if it doesn’t?” 

“Then I will be just as happy.” She studied his face as he said the words. Looked for any hint, any fracture that what he was saying wasn’t how he really felt. She found none. 

She reached up, stroking his cheek with her thumb. She placed a soft kiss on his lips. “Thank you.” 

“Of course Hope. We’re partners remember? Whatever we face, we face it together.” 


	3. Acorn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hank and Janet arrive at the hospital.

After things calmed down a little Scott managed to convince Hope to lay down and rest. It wasn’t a peaceful slumber by any means, but it was needed nonetheless. 

They arrived once the sun was fully up, coffee balanced in each hand, looks of concern on their faces. Scott had called them, explained the situation as best he could at the time. They had wanted to come right away, but he had managed to convince them to give a little space. To give him a chance to work things out with Hope first. 

He smiled sadly and waved them over, accepting his coffee with a silent thank you. Hank rested a hand on his shoulder, saying more than he would be able to outloud. Janet fussed over her sleeping daughter; adjusting the blankets, brushing her hair back from her face, holding her hand. 

“How is she?” 

“As well as she can be I suppose.” answered Scott. Hank nodded. 

“It sounds like it was a rough night. Have you gotten any sleep?” 

“A little. When we were waiting for the doctor.” 

“Have they come in since? Said anything?” 

He nodded. The details were fuzzy in his grief-addled brain. He took a long sip of coffee, letting the bitter liquid do its job. “They said that she was early enough in the pregnancy that it should pass completely in a few days' time. They are monitoring her iron levels and checking her vitals every few hours to make sure she isn’t having any complications. The doctor said she wants to see Hope again in a few weeks. Make sure everything is….okay.”

“Are you?” 

“Honestly Hank, I’m not. But I will be. We both will. It’s just going to take some time.” 

The older man dipped his head in understanding. He gave Scott’s shoulder a little squeeze. “Why don’t you go home for a bit. Take a shower, change your clothes, get some rest.” 

“I promised I wasn’t going to leave her.” 

“We’ll be here. She won’t be alone. You’re no good to her a mess.” 

Scott hesitated, unsure of what to do. He watched Hope’s mother; the way she was with Hope. He thought about Hank’s words. He was right. She was in good hands. 

“A few hours. That’s it. Then I’ll be back.” 

“Go son, it’s alright.” And he did. 

____

Hope awoke to the smell of lilies and the papery smooth skin of her mother’s hand. She felt half a sleep still, the sun painting a golden halo around her mother, the room warm and heady. “Mom?”

“Hi Jellybean.”

“Is Dad here?” He stepped into view, blocking the sun and helping shift the room back into focus. 

“Hi Hope.” 

Hope yawned, rubbing a hand over her face. Using her fists, she shifted herself up a little in bed, leaning against the curved thin mattress. Her mother handed her the glass of now melted ice chips from the night stand. She drank it gratefully. 

“Where’s Scott?” 

“We sent him home. Told him to change clothes, sleep a little.” 

Janet leaned in. “You should know, he didn’t go easy.” That brought a small smile to Hope’s face. No, no he wouldn’t. 

“How are you feeling dear?” asked Janet. 

“Not great. How much did Scott tell you?” Her parent’s eyed one another, silently conversing. It was clear they weren’t sure exactly what to say. They were grateful that Scott called them, but worried how their daughter might react. Often guarded, even when happy, Hope had never really been an open book. 

Hank finally plucked up the courage. “He told us that you had a miscarriage. That the pregnancy wasn’t far advanced enough that you required surgery or medicine for it to...complete.” 

“Did he tell you how it happened?”

“Oh now Jellybean, we can’t always know these things. Miscarriages happen for all sorts of reasons.” soothed Janet, stroking Hope’s arm. She shrugged her off. 

“Mom, don't. I don’t deserve your pity. The doctor basically confirmed it. I suspected, but I never got so far as to take a test. I should have checked to be sure. Before going. I should have never….it doesn’t matter now. The point is I was stupid and got myself hurt.”

“You made a mistake.”

“A mistake that cost a life.” 

Janet sighed. She looked at her husband. “Can I have a minute with our daughter?” 

“Of course. Do you want anything? Hope? Something to eat?”

“I’m fine Dad.” 

“Alright.” He bowed out, taking the empty cups with him and shuffling towards the door. He paused when he reached the frame, looking back at them a moment before leaving, closing the door behind him. 

“I lost a baby once.”

“What?” Hope looked at her mother in shock. Janet nodded. 

“Your brother.” 

“My, my brother? You mean…”

“I was far enough along to know, yes. He came before you did. About a year or so before.” 

“Why have you never told me about him? Why didn’t Dad?”

“It was hard when you were little. So much to think about between raising you, working at the lab and running missions. There wasn’t a lot of time to dwell on it. I did think about it though, a few times. It was so hard. Whenever I let myself go there I...it felt too fresh.” 

“Oh mom.” It was Hope’s turn to offer some comfort. Janet gave her a watery smile. 

“In terms of your Father well, you know him. From what you tell me he didn’t take my absence well. The last thing I imagine he would have wanted to talk about was losing someone else he loved.” 

“Do you, will I ever get over it?” 

“No dear, I don’t think so. But it gets easier in time.”

“What did you do? How did you cope?” 

Janet reached forward, grasping the little acorn pendant that always hung from her daughter’s neck. The necklace she has given her daughter has soon as she was old enough to wear it. 

“Do you know why I gave you this? Why an acorn?” Hope shook her head no. “It represents your brother, our connection to him. On the one year anniversary of his death we planted an oak tree behind our house and said a prayer for him. He was too small for there to be ashes, but we both felt like he was there, that he approved.”

Hope hugged her mother, tears gently falling from both their eyes. “Thank you Mom, for sharing.”

“Of course dear.” 

Hope held her necklace in her fist, brought it to her lips. “And for giving me this. I always knew this was special but now, somehow it’s even more.” 

A knock sounded at the door. Scott was standing there, looking tired but managing. Hank was behind him. Hope nodded, gesturing for them to enter. Scott came over and gave her a quick kiss. Hank patted her hand gently, perching next to his wife on the bed. 

“The doctor said they had one more check up left to do then we can head home. Wait it out there.” 

Hope smiled sadly, placing a hand over her belly. “Okay” was all she said. Scott placed a kiss on her temple and held her close to him. She breathed him in, a mix of his deodorant and the laundry detergent they used. It wasn’t over, not completely, nor would it be for sometime. It still hurt, physically and emotionally, but having them here, being surrounded by their love; it helped. 


	4. That's When You Knew?

Her skin was flush, the edges of her hairline curling from the humidity of the bathroom air. She stepped out of the tub with care, wrapping herself amongst plush white cotton. She watched as the water drained, thick, soapy bubbles travelling into the land unknown. She swiped a hand across the mirror, marking a path between the layers of fog. Her freckled clavicles arched and relaxed as she moved in a circle, taking stock. Satisfied, she opened the door, emerging into the bedroom on a cloud of eucalyptus scented air. 

Scott looked up from his book, watching his beautiful partner move about the room;the way the muscles in her calves flexed with each step, the confidence with which she dropped her towel to stand bare in the room, before reaching for her favourite robe. The supple silk caressessing her skin like his lips on a warm night. Her dark, unruly hair falling in waves as she let the pin out, her pointy little nose scrunching in concentration as she bent towards their shared dresser, searching for some cream or another. She was breathtaking. 

“What?” she asked, not bothering to turn around. 

“Just admiring your beauty.” She gave him that look. Embarrassment and disbelief, but also a little pride because deep down, she knows. 

She finished applying her cream and crawled up the middle of their bed, collapsing against his chest. She sighed contentedly. He snuggled her close. 

“What are you reading?” 

“Hmm? Oh this?” He flipped the book over to see the title, his thumb still marking his place between the pages. “Nothing really. Just something I picked up at the hospital to pass the time.” 

“Any good?” 

“A little dry sometimes, but...meaningful.” He closed the book, tucking the scrap of paper he was using as a bookmark snuggly in place. He set  _ Helping Your Partner Through a Miscarrige _ in his bedside drawer, pulling some stray junk over top it. 

“How are you feeling?” he asked. 

“Tired.” she sighed. “A little sad.” He squeezed her a little tighter. “I suppose that’s to be expected though right?” He hummed in agreement. 

“And you? How are you?” 

He took a moment to consider the question, letting his head fall back against the headboard. “Also sad. A little disappointed.”

Hope felt tears begin to prick at the edges of her eyes. She pressed her lips into his chest, her nails scratching a soft pattern on his t-shirt. “I’m sorry.”

“I know. It will just take a little time.” He pressed a kiss into her hair and brought his other arm around to hug her. They laid there for a little bit, swimming in their own thoughts and the pool of silence that flooded their bedroom. 

“Scott?” 

“Hmm?”

“Can we - can we make a plan?” 

“For?”

“Can we make a plan for the baby? For the next one I mean?” 

Scott let go and moved away a little, wanting to be able see Hope. He studied her face for a second. “Are you sure you are ready to talk about this?” 

“No.” It was the honest answer. She has promised herself to be more honest with Scott, to not hide when things got hard. 

“We don’t need to. Not now anyway.” 

“I know. But, I think it will help.” 

“Okay.” She sat up properly now, crossing her long slender legs under her. 

“I want to do it together next time.” 

“That is generally how it works Hope.” he joked. She rolled her eyes at him, a soft smile easing some of the tension on her face. 

“I mean I want to be prepared. Have a test under the sink ready to go. Maybe even plan it?” 

“Really? Are you sure that’s what you want? Like I said in the hospital Hope, I don’t want you to do this for me. I’m happy if we stay just us.” 

She placed her hands over his and looked at him lovingly. “I know, and I love you for it.”

“This whole thing, while certainly not expected or easy, has been eye opening. I was so scared when I realized I was late, I panicked. But when I lost the baby - I’ve never felt that before. As scary as the idea of being a mom was at first, once the possibility was gone all I wanted was it back.” 

“Oh, Hope.” She smiled a watery smile, using her knuckle to clean up the tears beginning to brim along her waterline. 

“What I’m saying is that yes, I want a baby with you Scott. I think I have for a while now but just didn’t realize.” 

“Really?” he asked, smiling with joy. 

She laughed a little at his childlike enthusiasm and nodded. “If I didn’t I would have insisted we take more precautions, like before. I mean, we haven’t exactly been very careful since returning from New York. It’s a wonder it didn’t happen sooner.” 

He grinned. “Coming back from the dead, pulling off a time heist and beating a crazed purple alien with a god complex  _ does _ get me kind of randy.” 

“Ugh gross. Randy Scott? Really?” He laughed. 

“What? Do you prefer horny? Hot for your love?” He waggled his eyebrows as he tried to pull her towards him. 

“Stop! No more! It’s too corny.” He laughed louder and got a pillow in the face for it. 

“Hey!” 

“I warned you.” 

She smiled that dazzling smile at him again and his heart did a little flip in his chest. How did she manage to do that? Make him fall in love with her over and over again? 

They let the laughter die down a little before continuing. “I think we need to wait a while though. It’s too soon. The spaces between our relationship have been longer than our time together.”

“I take full responsibility for the two years from Germany, but it’s not like either of us had control over the second time.”

“I know.” 

“Our time apart never changed how I feel about you, you know that right? If anything, it made it stronger. Even though we weren't actually together, together the first time, I felt pretty early on that you were it. I spent so many of my days on house arrest cursing my stupidity for messing it all up. Then you strapped my ankle monitor to an oversized ant and kidnapped me to find your mum and suddenly I had a second chance.” 

She looked at him incredulously. “You knew for that long?” 

“Give or take, yah. When did you know?” 

“I don’t know really. It was sort of a gradual thing I guess. I knew I felt a lot more than I realized when you got arrested and Dad and I had to go on the run. It was hard seeing you again after all that time apart. But then I remember pulling you out of that harbour and feeling so goddamn happy that you were alive. That I could kiss you again, hold you. When you broke us out of the police station and then proceeded to literally swim after Sonny to get the lab and save my mom, I knew I wanted to be with you. Even if you are a big dumb idiot sometimes.”

He smiled that crooked smile of his. “A cute one though right? With great hair?” She chuckled, leaning in to give him a kiss. 

“Why do you think I agreed to move in together so soon?” she teased. “That dimpled smile of yours makes all the ladies swoon. I had to lock that down before someone else came along.” 

They kissed, all smiles and tenderness. “None of them are you.” He kissed her again, deeper this time. She hummed softly, using her hands on his face to pull him close. 

When they pulled apart her skin was rosy with desire and his eyes could barely remove themselves from her lips. “This is what got us in trouble in the first place.” she breathed. He hummed in response and captured her lips once more. When his kisses began to stray down her neck and over her freckled shoulder she was forced to push him away, as much as she didn’t want to. 

“Scott, we’re supposed to be talking, remember?” 

“I can multitask.” she laughed out loud. 

“No, you really can’t. Besides, the doctor said no sex for at least a few weeks.” 

“I don’t have to be in you for us to have a little fun.” he purred, pulling her onto his lap. 

“Your insatiable” she huffed as his teeth grazed that spot just under her jawline that always drove her crazy. 

“I blame you for being so damn hot. Even when you are glaring at me in anger you somehow manage to be insanely attractive.” His fingers pushed their way in between the folds of her robe and caressed her breast, teasing the pert little nipple. She moaned softly.

Her phone began to ring. “Don’t answer it.” He pleaded, hands still caressing her breast and lips skimming against her skin. 

Sighing, she gave him one more kiss before pulling away. She grabbed her phone from the night stand turning to look at him as she answered. “Hello? Oh hi Mom. No, nothing important. Just laying in bed with Scott.” He gave her a little pout and she rolled her eyes. She pulled her robe back over her shoulder as she walked out of their room and into the hallway. 

She was always on the move, his Hope. Constantly in motion, a flurry of energy and brilliance that would be overwhelming for some. He was glad that they had been able to take a moment, chat about it, even a little. The book said it was important in order for them to heal. To process the whole thing. 

She had worried him for a while there. So stoic in the day to day, wanting to get back to work and training right away. He’d catch her though, in those quiet moments of the day, crying softly. He wasn’t sure what to do in the beginning. Let her cry it out alone? Hold her? Eventually he just gave up and said nothing, opting to plop down next to her and just be there, in whatever capacity she needed. 

Tonight was the first time she felt more like the old Hope again, instead of one burdened by sadness and regret. It was nice. 

He looked up from his thoughts when he heard her feet padding back towards the door. “Bye Mom. Thanks for calling. Love you.” She smiled at him watching her. She placed her phone back down, plugging it in for the night. She swapped the robe for one of his old t-shirts and crawled back into bed. 

Taking the hint, Scott switched off the bedside light and snuggled down, pulling the soft duvet up and around them. He kissed her, not trying to start something this time, thumb gently stroking her cheek. 

“Goodnight Hope. I love you.” he breathed. She hummed back, already half asleep. 

“You too.” He smiled, turned onto his back and followed her lead. 


End file.
